I had an awesome time last night, even though my friends felt it vital enough to pause our game of Catch Phrase to watch the ball drop. I've managed to avoid the sentimental musings that come at this time until now, when I just woke up in a contemplative mood.
After a hellacious year (is that still a bad word when you add "acious" to it? if so, and if I've made your eyeballs pop and your jaw drop at my profanity, my apologies), which includes a home-destroying fire, a huge upheaval at work, some deep depression and soul-searching, one HECK of a scary day that ended up with an ambulance call and my aunt still (that would be "as of right now") recovering from a mild heart attack, pneumonia, and a leg infection combo of cellulitis and lymphodema, and a sudden jump start on a popular new-year's resolution (lose weight)... I think I might have a little to say to the people I love (and whoever else stumbles on this blog). (Gee, how's that for a great run-on sentence and a major overuse of parentheses?)
So, at the end of this crazy year, here's what I wish for you, Dear Reader:
May 2007 bring you to better health. Maybe you'll carry through with that resolution you've made, or the one you're ignoring, or maybe you'll get a huge scare like we did. Honestly? Whatever it takes, because I want you around for a good, long time.
I hope you find a deeper level of brokenness and vulnerability than you've ever reached before. I know when I say this the odds are 10 to 1 it will have to come through some crappy circumstances I'm not really wishing on you, but I also know that's what it usually takes to get there. And let God use that brokenness to change your heart, and that vulnerability to make bridges to other hearts. It's so much greater than staying the way you are, because we're all broken anyway, and we might as well move on to where we let it actually make a difference.
I hope someone surprises you with something you've always wanted. It's nice to have people come through like that, as long as it doesn't happen all the time.
I also hope you get denied and rejected now and then. It's good for us. It reminds us to trust God, and rejection can sometimes help us identify with Him.
And I really, really hope you discover for yourself (or rediscover) how much you are loved. If by no one else, then by God. But chances are that if you're taking time to read this, you're family or friend. And I love you. I hope I'll be able to show it better this year, that my love will be more mature and sensitive to the needs around me, but just in case.... I love you. Remember that when I act stoopeed or selfish or even offensive. Cuz we know that's pretty much a given.
That's it. Well, not really. But I think I've been mushy enough. Maybe I'll add to it next year.
But until then, be blessed. Be hungry. Be satisfied, and hungry again. Be loved and loving. Be joyful, and spread it around. Be changed.
Love,
Amanda
