In my senior year of high school, I participated in a program called Peer Counselors (also known as Peer Helpers later on, because of the potential liability of calling teenagers "counselors"). To participate in this program, as I had done my freshman year, you had to pay an outrageous fee to attend a weekend training retreat.
This was actually a good thing, as it armed those who attended (and cared to pay attention) with some basic active listening and confrontation/conflict "de-escalation" skills. One of the other perks of the retreat, other than it being a co-ed function *cough, cough*, was the various team- and confidence-building projects we got to do. For example, each participant made a large envelope with their name and whatever other decor they wished to put on it. These envelopes were hung along the perimeter of the largish main meeting room, and all were assigned the task of writing positive comments about each of the other students and inserting them into the envelopes. (Much like elementary school Valentine mailboxes.)
Silly as it may sound, I kept my envelope for many more years than I care to admit. Every now and then, when feeling low, I would pull it out and reread the comments. Eventually, several years ago, I came to two realizations: 1) with just a couple exceptions, I really didn't know the people who wrote those comments anymore, and 2) I was no longer the same person - the comments didn't really apply to me. In a fit of putting my house in order, I threw the envelope away, along with all my old yearbooks and other irrelevant (and some painful) memories.
I did, however, have at the time of the fire a limited collection of more recent "positivities" which became kindling. I sort of mourn their loss. There were cards with notes in them from people I still know - people I very much respect. At the same time, though, I have come to value both the idea that these notes are not meant to be dwelt upon forever and the importance of "paying it forward."
I've decided to make a monthly project of picking a friend or relative and writing them a note/letter/list of reasons they are special to me. People will be chosen at random, kind of like a lottery.
Another project is to replace something I miss very much - my "Happy Thoughts" book. This was a black wire-bound journal plastered with bright yellow smileys, and I had nearly filled it with quotes, quips and favorite poems. Things that made me smile, lightened my mood, or energized me to think beyond my microcosm.
So... here's to new projects and resurrecting old ones. Good luck at winning my lottery!
This was actually a good thing, as it armed those who attended (and cared to pay attention) with some basic active listening and confrontation/conflict "de-escalation" skills. One of the other perks of the retreat, other than it being a co-ed function *cough, cough*, was the various team- and confidence-building projects we got to do. For example, each participant made a large envelope with their name and whatever other decor they wished to put on it. These envelopes were hung along the perimeter of the largish main meeting room, and all were assigned the task of writing positive comments about each of the other students and inserting them into the envelopes. (Much like elementary school Valentine mailboxes.)
Silly as it may sound, I kept my envelope for many more years than I care to admit. Every now and then, when feeling low, I would pull it out and reread the comments. Eventually, several years ago, I came to two realizations: 1) with just a couple exceptions, I really didn't know the people who wrote those comments anymore, and 2) I was no longer the same person - the comments didn't really apply to me. In a fit of putting my house in order, I threw the envelope away, along with all my old yearbooks and other irrelevant (and some painful) memories.
I did, however, have at the time of the fire a limited collection of more recent "positivities" which became kindling. I sort of mourn their loss. There were cards with notes in them from people I still know - people I very much respect. At the same time, though, I have come to value both the idea that these notes are not meant to be dwelt upon forever and the importance of "paying it forward."
I've decided to make a monthly project of picking a friend or relative and writing them a note/letter/list of reasons they are special to me. People will be chosen at random, kind of like a lottery.
Another project is to replace something I miss very much - my "Happy Thoughts" book. This was a black wire-bound journal plastered with bright yellow smileys, and I had nearly filled it with quotes, quips and favorite poems. Things that made me smile, lightened my mood, or energized me to think beyond my microcosm.
So... here's to new projects and resurrecting old ones. Good luck at winning my lottery!
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