What is Love?

OK, before you starting bobbing your head like a Butabi brother at the Roxbury, let me dig into what's going on in my head... (don't worry, it's not that deep!)

The last few days have been interesting. This self-imposed withdrawal from my usual activities (and the less usual ones that frequently pop up) has left me with a lot more quiet in which to think over things. And while I've still had some woe-is-me moments, my angst over - oh, heck, over nearly everything - has slackened dramatically.

I guess I could liken it to a fast. For me, when fasting food, the gnawing of hunger reminds me to pray, be more mindful of God, be thankful for many things (not the least of which is the blessing of being able to eat whenever I am hungry). In this solitude I am starting to pursue (I say starting because I've yet to be very purposeful with my time), whenever I think of communicating in my usual way - emails, calls, facebook updates - the reminder of my current status that immediately follows serves to help me think more about what I am doing and why it's needed.

I won't go over everything I've been thinking (quite frankly, I can't remember it all), but two things seem very important now. One is a goal, the other a question I need to answer - both very worth pursuing.

My goal: that 2009 be my personal Year of Jubilee. There are many things in my life I want "fixed", but of all the things I desire for myself, freedom is the most important. I want to either throw off the shackles of unworthiness, fear, despair, bitterness... or be significantly closer to having filed through them. I think a key (no pun intended) line of thought for this is . . .

My question: what is love? I don't think I know what it is, what it looks like, how to show it/receive it in a healthy way. I'm not sure yet how to find my answer, but I have the benefit of knowing God is the source. I realize answering this question is a life-long pursuit - I guess you could say I am also answering the question, "Who is God?" - yet I think there is a sort of line that needs crossed between total confusion (where I am now) and operational clarity (where I can be with the people I care about and be focused on them).

As always, if you have anything you want to share with me, have at it. It's most welcome.